Romney vs. Holyfield: ‘I’m Staying Far Away From His Ears’

Romney vs. Holyfield: ‘I’m Staying Far Away From His Ears’, Friday night in Utah — not exactly Las Vegas — the former Republican heavyweight Mitt Romney will face the former heavyweight champion Evander Holyfield in a charity boxing match. The bout will benefit CharityVision, an organization that provides sight-restoration surgery for people in very poor countries around the world. It will not benefit the dignity of Mitt Romney.

But then, it’s not as if he hasn’t lost big contests before. In a phone interview, I asked the former Massachusetts governor and G.O.P. presidential nominee if anything in politics had prepared him for what he might face at the hands of Holyfield.

“I think just the embarrassment of having everybody looking and laughing,” Romney said. “I do remember Newt Gingrich and I, during a debate, we were talking about Rick Perry,” he went on. “And Newt Gingrich said to me, ‘You know, Rick is a good guy, but he doesn’t know how to dance.’ Newt meant dance around tough questions and then make them work to your advantage. And he complimented me on my ability to dance. So I will be doing a bit of dancing and dodging Friday night.”

An edited transcript of our conversation follows.

I see you’re scheduled for an official weigh-in with Holyfield. Are you going to strip down to your skivvies?

I think that’s only for boxers who are trying to fit into a different weight class. I know I’m fighting as a heavyweight.

Will you get in Holyfield’s face and talk trash?

I will get in Evander’s face with compliments and good humor. I want to keep him very happy and very friendly.

There will be three scheduled rounds in the fight.

Or less. And between rounds, there will be young women holding up round numbers walking in the ring.

Will you make like Mike Tyson and attempt to feast on Holyfield’s ear?

I’m staying far away from his ears. I don’t for a moment want for him to confuse me with anyone from his past.

Will you actually wear trunks in the ring?

I was affectionately known as Bird Legs during high school. I’m afraid the bird legs will be unveiled one more time. But I’m very pleased that Under Armour has agreed to sponsor the bout. They have graciously sent me their apparel items, which I will avail myself of.

So you will be sufficiently covered. It will be a modest performance.

It will be a modest performance in more ways than one.

Yes, I would expect.

We will come in tuxedos. Then I will change. My son has procured a red silk robe complete with hood. And I’ll have red silk shorts.

I might pay to see that alone. Will you have entrance music?

“I Will Survive,” I think.Holyfield was known back in the day as the Real Deal. Do you have a nickname?

My son has dubbed me the Glove.

Like, a play on Mitt, I assume. I get it.

I’m afraid so, it’s a pretty cheap play.

Have you ever boxed before?
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